"Harry where are you going? " Hermione shouted.
“I am going to heaven”, Harry shouted back.
“Up a staircase to the sky are you mad?” , Ron said .
“In your orange pyjamas?” , Violet said.
“Violet is right. Come back Harry!” , Hermione said.
As Harry walked up the staircase booming sounds of thunder started. Violet ,Hermione and Ron chased after him . When they finally reached the top they saw Harry crying, because he didn’t find his parents .He found a demi-god that did not like them and he was very angry. They stared at him in silence and then out of nowhere he grabbed Violet's waist and it was if she swam through a cloud and he said “Violet my child how are you?”
“Good uncle Thor but ya don’t need to scare my friends like that.”
“That thing is your uncle?.” Ron said with his mouth wide open.
A much better mix of speech and text. Your first five lines are really good, they hold each characters personality well and carry the short charged moment. Then we have too much story carried without information. Why was Thor angry? I cannot see Harry being impolite to him even if if couldn't see his parents. Still holding the Norse mythology. That can get quite complex.
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